Son's Tragic Death Exposes Failures In Mental Health Care, Says Mother Of Young Newbridge Man

His mother, Noeleen Eustace, says she fought for help for years

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Noeleen Eustace speaks to Clem Ryan on Kildare Today

A Newbridge mother says a lack of mental health support services failed her son, who died by suicide earlier this year.

26-year-old Kelvin Brennan took his own life in May. 

His mother, Noeleen Eustace, says she fought for help for years

“I was eight years going to CAMHS, back and forth, back and forth." 

Additional supports, however, had to be "paid for privately.”

After a CAMHS diagnosis confirming Aspergers, Noeleen said she thought things would change but "nothing happened" because the services and structures were not there. 

“With somebody who has Down Syndrome, they can go into a service. With Asperger’s, there’s nowhere for them. Nothing. I went and educated myself. I did courses, I read books, I even did my dissertation in college on the impact of raising a child with Asperger’s. But I wasn’t a professional. I needed help, and Kelvin needed help," Noeleen told Kfm. 

From his earliest days, Noeleen noticed her son was struggling.

“I noticed Kelvin, there was something not right from very, very early on. He was having night terrors at 18 months, banging his head off the cot. He never slept. Right up until his death, he never slept. We never slept.”

By the time he reached secondary school, the challenges had grown.

“At 13, he told me he was going to commit suicide. I went to my GP and he said wait for CAMHS. I said no, I’m going to an emergency department now. And I went to Temple Street and he spoke to a "fabulous" psychiatrist for two hours. She wrote an urgent referral back to CAMHS."

Even after his formal diagnosis of Asperger’s, generalised anxiety and sensory processing disorder, Noeleen says little changed.

At 16, the situation became desperate.

“New Year’s Eve night he told me again he was suicidal. We went to Naas Hospital. He told them he was going to end his life. They refused to give him a bed. They said he didn’t meet the criteria. I ended up ten hours in A&E, holding him, hugging him, trying to keep him alive."

Despite his struggles, Kelvin was described as warm, funny and deeply loving.

“They say people with Asperger’s don’t have empathy. Kelvin had empathy to the point where it was painful for him. He loved his nieces and nephews. He loved his sister. I have notes at home where he wrote, ‘Ma, I love you so much and thank you for everything you have done for me.’ That was regular.”

In recent years, Kelvin had returned to education, completing a Level Five in community and social care.

“He died actually two days after finishing his Level Five. He wanted to go to college. He wanted to work with people. He even had an interview lined up the week after he died.”

But the weight of his condition, Noeleen said, was unrelenting.

“I know my son died by suicide to end his pain. He arranged on the Monday to bring my granddaughter to McDonald’s. He wanted to live, but he couldn’t cope with Asperger’s. And the services weren’t there to help him cope.”

For Noeleen, the battle for support was a "trauma" in itself.

“It was abusive and traumatic to keep looking for help and nobody helped. I knew it would end like this if we did not get support. I was left to hold my adult son in bed to keep him safe. That is not what a mother should have to do.”

This week, Kelvin’s story was raised in the Dáil by Sinn Féin Senator Nicole Ryan, who urged the government to ensure the new Mental Health Bill delivers real change - with joined-up services, proper funding, and laws that protect lives.

And Noeleen says telling her son’s story is her way of trying to ensure no other family is left in the same situation.

“I wanted to help him live, not die. He didn’t want to die - he was crying for help. But I wasn’t a professional. All I ever wanted was support for my son, and the State failed him.”

A petition has been created by Noeleen, which can be found here.

If you or a loved one have been impacted, helplines are available:

Samaritans - 1850 60 90 90

Men's Aid - 01 554 3811

Pieta - 1800 247 247 or text HELP to 51444

Text About It - Text HELLO to 50808

Childline - 1800 66 66 66

You can also contact emergency services on 112 or 999